Adding Fuel to the Fire

          In my continuing story of lawn mower maintenance, I would like to talk about fuel. Fuel is what’s burned in an engine and forces the moving parts to actually move. I think of fuel as the education it takes to get moving toward whatever dream you may have.

            With the Internet, we have unlimited opportunity to learn about everything under the sun within minutes of having a question. Not only is this very useful in keeping track of football scores, but it can also be used to help us realize our goals. We can learn all about other people who had similar dreams and find out what mistakes they made. All my scars testify to the wisdom of learning from other peoples' mistakes. We can also learn about two different things that would go great together. (chocolate and peanut butter come to mind)

            If my dream is to start a worm farm, I can find other people who like worms and raise them. I can also learn about the different types of worms, what they eat, what environment I need to keep them in, and whether I need to wear gloves for my own protection. Actually, I did look into worm farming and have tried to raise them in the past. “In the past” is short for – "worms die at my hands." The point is, I was able to learn about something and try it out. It didn’t work for me, but it has for other people.

            Some people love to learn while others are less than enthusiastic about it. Even reluctant learners are passionate about something, though, and are willing to learn all they can about that particular topic. If you want to try something new, you need to be passionate about it enough to learn all you can on the subject. Even people who can’t read can watch a YouTube video, even about worm farming. (I did.)

            The best thing about using fuel as a metaphor for learning is that sometimes the gas tank is empty and the lawn mower won’t run. Everything else may be good, but without gas, you won’t cut a single blade of grass. You need to fill ‘er up every once-in-a-while to keep the mower going. Professionals are always going to trainings to learn new skills and see what new developments there are in their field. Whatever your dream is, you’ll need to keep learning as well. Vermicomposting.com is a great place to start if you’re still interested in worms.

            Jim Rohn, a motivational speaker, said, “Learning is the beginning of wealth. Learning is the beginning of health. Learning is the beginning of spirituality. Searching and learning is where the miracle process all begins.” I can’t say it better than that.

            Whatever your dream is, keep studying and learning about it. How to start, what are the upsides and downsides of it, does it already exist, and what can I do to make it better. Remember, even if your dream seems stupid and disgusting to others, it’s your dream, not theirs. So, add some fuel to your spark and see what happens!

The Art of Lawn Mower Maintenance

I love mowing lawns and even had a little business for a couple of years where I took care of other peoples’ yards. I know that may seem strange, actually liking what we had to do as children, but no one has ever accused me of being normal. My love of mowing, however, didn’t come with a love of mower maintenance. (This is not to be confused with the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, which I have never read.) I had collected a few lawn mowers just in case one of them broke down.

One day, one of my mowers broke down and I didn’t have a spare left. I was forced to fix it myself, or pay someone else a lot of money and not have a mower for a couple of weeks. I chose to attempt the impossible because that’s who I am. I checked the gas; it was good. I checked the oil; dirty, but okay and would have to wait for another maintenance moment. The filter was dirty, but easy to clean. The mower still wouldn’t start and I was forced to check the spark plug.

The plug was heavily coated and after a good cleaning, (a new one from Wal-Mart) the lawnmower started right up and worked for another year. Now, you may think that the lesson was on changing spark plugs, but you would be wrong. The lesson is this; without spark, nothing works.

Everyone needs a spark to get anything done. It takes a spark to kindle the flames of love. It takes a spark to ignite a passion for starting a new business. Believe it or not, it also takes a spark to get out of bed every morning. Without that initial spark, no matter how brief or small, nothing would be worth doing.

To carry my story further, it also takes good fuel, clean oil, and free flow of air to keep us going. The spark may begin the process, but without the other elements, “you ain’t got nuthin!” Fuel is the education we need to reach our goals. Oil is the encouragement we gain from the examples of others. Air is the dream we have to be more than we are right now. All three are indispensible in any attempt to accomplish a goal.

I think I’ll write about each one in a separate blog so I don’t run out of things to write about before the end of the year. Therefore, concentrate on the spark and stop getting distracted! 

In order to obtain the spark on a mower, you need to keep the plug clean of corrosion. We need to do the same with ourselves by not letting other peoples’ doubts and fears become ours. A spark is an idea and you can’t get ideas if your thoughts are filled with garbage. It’s also hard to get an idea if you’re sitting at home watching TV all the time. Pablo Picasso once said, “Inspiration exists, but it must find you working.”

Whatever your dream is, clean off your spark plug and give another pull on the motor. You just may find that your little spark of an idea can lead to all sorts of good things.

Riding Unicycles

          My youngest son found a forgotten unicycle left in a closet by an older brother. He wanted to learn how to ride it, so we took it out to the farm (forgiveness is easier than permission) and he began to try it out. He persisted for several days and then the dust began to gather on it as it lay forgotten on the ground. The task proved harder than his desire.

            This same thing happens to all of us. I still haven’t learned Spanish even though I spent four years in Panama and taught in a school where nearly half of the students were Hispanic. How many people have pianos that get fiddled with but are not worth tuning because no one left at home can play?

            Helen Keller once said, “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” Growing up, I heard a lot about Helen and the struggles she had. She was deaf and blind, yet still learned to talk and read. Her desire proved equal to the task. (I don’t think she ever learned to ride a unicycle though.)

            Sometimes the challenges we face are not choices, but are shoved in our faces like a smelly fish head by a little boy. We don’t have any choice but to “buck up, shut up, and get it done!” Right now I’m facing one of those challenges with getting our house on the real estate market. I don’t like having to fix all the things that were broken over the years and the kids who broke them have all moved out. Kids!

            The success of selling the house will be worth it in the end and along the way I’ve learned how to fix some things I didn’t know how to before. I’m smarter than I was when we began and I still have all my fingers. That’s success too. My wife has learned that painting isn’t as bad as she thought, and my only child left at home has learned how to avoid a whole new bunch of chores. See! We all grow through challenges and struggles.

            I know that sometimes we can’t see the end of the tunnel and doubt that it’s really even there, but it is and we can only reach it if we keep going forward. Because of our persistence, our character will be strengthened and we will emerge victorious. Thomas Paine wrote, “The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph.”

            No matter what struggles you’re going through right now, just keep these things in mind. You will get through it and it will be worth the effort.

We Are Water (H2O)

            Water is the most precious commodity in the desert. Rain is prayed for daily and water rights are expensive and hard to come by. The amazing thing is that water is made of two extremely common elements that are found in abundance in every desert in the world: hydrogen and oxygen. Though these two elements may be everywhere, they are separate and alone. Combined, however, they make up 70% of the surface area of the earth and nearly 75% of our bodies. Water quenches our thirst and yet can grind the highest mountain down to dust over time.

            When two people come together for a common cause, they are much like hydrogen and oxygen. Each brings something different to the table, yet combined they are a great force to be reckoned with. Alone they may be common and ineffective, together they can accomplish much.

            As I go through this midlife “crisis”, I have found out who around me is “on my side” and who, though not against me, may not really care what happens in my life. It’s been an important lesson to learn and has the added benefit of allowing me to gain strength from those who care. A true friend has a common goal with me of making me happy whether that be through jokes, encouraging thoughts, or a simple hug (kind of mushy, I know).

            I’m sure we all know people who “bring us down” whenever they come around. No matter what you’re doing, they have some comment about it that doesn’t make it better. Perhaps they know all about what you’re doing and let you know that it won’t work. Maybe they don’t discourage what you’re doing, but instead fill you with stories about themselves and how miserable they are. These are people we need to get out of our lives. They may be family or friends, but they need to go. Midlife is hard enough without people like that to make it even more difficult.

            Just as oxygen and hydrogen combine to make something good and useful, we need to find people who make us more than we are alone. Some people you know seem to make everyone happier when they’re near, just as salt makes most food taste better. These are the people you need around you. It may not be easy to find a lot of them, but I promise, they are there.

            Another thing you might want to consider is becoming one of those people. I’ve been trying for a long time to be one of them and it isn’t easy. That’s another reason why you need to find the good people and be around them; you can watch and learn how they do it. We learned to speak by watching others do it. We can learn to be “salt” by watching people too.

            I know this post is a little more serious than usual and I apologize for anyone who was expecting more. I just didn’t want to “water it down” for anyone. I also didn’t want to sound like a “drip” by making too many jokes. I could go on, but I’ll spare everyone the agony.

            Remember that who you choose to be around can make you into something more than you are. That’s also a good reason to stay with your spouse if you’re thinking of leaving them for greener pastures. Oxygen and hydrogen have been together since the world began and see what they can do together!

Rolling Stones

            As a Boy Scout a few years ago (give or take 30), we were on one of those hikes up in the mountains. At the top of a very steep hill we started rolling flat stones down to see how far they would go. As each stone left our hands, it would pick up speed and go crashing through the trees and bushes with incredible violence. Huge branches would be sliced from trees that would normally have taken a chainsaw to cut off. I was amazed that such a small stone could do such damage just from rolling down a hill.

 

            Being older now, I’ve come to understand two things. 1- We were being incredibly reckless with the environment. And 2- It’s really hard to stop something once it gets going. The first one I’ve made amends for by planting lots of trees, but the second still causes problems for me at times.

            I’ve developed a routine here at the farm which gets me through each day without feeling too lonely. When I go back into town for a day or two, I forget my routine and things go to pot. My depression gets worse, which is not to be blamed on my wife’s cooking, and I put on a pound or two, which can be blamed on my wife’s cooking.

            So, what’s the connection between that and rocks rolling down hills? Simply this; my bad habits of eating too much, eating too much sugar, watching too much TV, and not writing down what happens in my life (plus many more) have been rolling downhill for a very long time and have a lot of momentum behind them. I’m trying to stop those habits and have only been doing so for a few months. They say it only takes three weeks to develop a new habit, but I don’t think that always works if you’re trying to stop one. The old habit has been chopping up things for years and isn’t about to stop just because I say it’s time.

            The advantage we have over the rock is this: we have brakes. If you believe in God, you have power brakes and you can stop faster with the added assistance. If you don’t have power brakes, you can still stop, it just won’t be as easy. No matter what kind of brakes you have, there’s going to be a lot of friction. The steeper and longer the hill, the more friction will be created when you apply the brakes. Friction creates heat, which can be a bad thing when there’s too much of it.

            No matter how much friction there is, just keep the pressure on. People may try to convince you it’s not worth the effort, advertisers may claim that there’s no hill at all, and you may be deathly tired, but keep it up. The important thing is stopping, not how hard it may be at the time. Keep in mind what you want to be when you get stopped: skinnier, healthier, a better father or mother, a better spouse, or a fantastic blog writer. No matter what it is, it will be worth it.

            One more piece of advice before I stop this time. Don’t roll stones down hills, you never know what’s at the bottom and you can’t control the direction it will roll. Especially don’t do it if your car is parked at the bottom of the hill!

Good vs Bad Diets

                As I’ve posted before, I haven’t really followed any diets in the past. My wife and I did the Zone diet once and lost some weight (for a couple of months) and we tried the HCG diet and lost some weight (for a couple of weeks), but besides that, I haven’t done much of anything. Since I’ve started this blog, however, I’ve purchased a lot of diet books of every variety you can think of in order to know what I’m talking about. One trip to a bookstore will amaze you with all the different viewpoints there are on our health. The sad part is, we’re still getting fatter as a nation and world. So, what can we do?

                I’ve been losing weight and feeling great by following a type of Paleo (as in Paleolithic) diet. I don’t do everything I’m told to and that’s what I want to talk about in this post. Every one of us is different and we all have different needs, beliefs, and hormone levels. I believe there is a common starting point, but how far we take it is up to us individually. I don’t want to go on a diet that doesn’t allow me to be who I am inside. For example, I grew up in Idaho and learned to love potatoes (spuds). I don’t care what anyone says about them, I’m not giving up my spuds no matter how full of starches they are. Now, I may cut back on them, but I will never give up on my Idaho heritage!

                There’s a movement out there called JERF (Just Eat Real Foods) and I agree with them with all my heart. You might say I’m “JERFing it”, but I’m not sure about the image that creates in your head. Eating only organic foods would be great if I had unlimited money in the bank, but I do buy as fresh as possible. I’d also like to eat only grass-fed meat, but once again my wallet can’t handle it. So, I’m left eating the best I can with what I have and I’m doing great. My gardening skills are improving and I’m hoping to raise my own meat in the near future. I already raise my own eggs and chicken, so I’m on my way.

                As far as diets are concerned, don’t go out and buy any diet books. They contradict each other and one even spent the first ten pages telling me how I could start losing weight beginning with the first page. I didn’t lose any by page eleven either; I checked. Some of the ideas they have are great, but they don’t apply to all of us. Some people have special conditions, like hypoglycemia and there may be a diet book just for them, but I don’t need it. So, if an author claims to have “The Ultimate Weight Solution”, they are full of cow pies.

                It’s also important to remember why you want to go on a diet in the first place. If you want to lose weight only, cut out everything but vegetables and meat. If you want to live healthy, JERF it. Some people diet to gain muscle. Some to cleanse themselves from chemicals in the environment. I just don’t want to die from diabetes or high blood pressure. I already got my woman, so I don’t need to add twenty pounds of muscle to impress her. Whatever your reason for changing the way you eat, make it fit your life not the other way around. Sometimes big changes are needed: like cutting out sugar and wheat. Sometimes little ones are needed: like bananas. You decide. After all, you’re the one who has to live with yourself, not some author trying to make money off of your fat.

The Problem with Being Alone

          Ever feel alone in a crowd of people? I think most of us do at some point in our lives and it is one of the most unpleasant feelings I know. A while ago, I was sitting with some of my relatives and they began planning a trip to which I wasn’t invited. They actually talked around me while I sat there feeling lower than the dust of the earth, never once asking if I wanted to go. It was an amazing show of inconsideration and rudeness.

            I could have stood up and left the room either in a huff or not. I could have waved my hands at them as a reminder that I was right there in the same room. I also could have thrown a fit at their rudeness and lack of human feeling. Instead, I sat there feeling alone in a room full of people.

            So, why do we let people do things like that to us? At the time, I was just trying to keep my mouth shut so I wouldn’t embarrass my wife again. I was successful at remaining quiet, but at what cost? Now, as I look back on it, it didn’t cost me anything if I choose not to pay.

            I am choosing not to let how others treat me determine how I feel about myself. I am choosing to remain confident in myself because I have other family and friends who would never do that me or anyone else. I am choosing to take the higher road because it takes me where I want to go.

            Sound impressive? Am I being brave and noble? No, just realistic. Here’s why.

            If I do something and someone reacts negatively to me, I most likely am doing something offensive. There are times when that isn’t true, but if I’m picking my nose and someone pulls a face at me, they’re justified.

            If, on the other hand, I’m being treated poorly just for being there, that’s their problem. I can’t control what other people do any more than I can get my dogs to stop rolling in the dirt. What they do (the people, not the dogs

), has nothing to do with what I am inside. I just need to remind myself of that sometimes, because my bad memory isn’t always related to where I put the car keys.

            I think it’s also important to remember I’m not always alone. My wife may be at work, my kids may be at school, and my friends may be playing golf, but when they come back I can spend time with them. Being lonely sometimes only makes it better when I’m not. Like I used to tell my students who wouldn’t leave the classroom, “I can’t miss you ‘till you’re gone!”

            So hang in there! When family treats you badly, remember that it’s only for a short time. When people ignore you on the street, remember that they’re probably swamped with their own problems. And when your dog rolls in the dirt, remember not to let him in the house.