The Problem with Being Alone

          Ever feel alone in a crowd of people? I think most of us do at some point in our lives and it is one of the most unpleasant feelings I know. A while ago, I was sitting with some of my relatives and they began planning a trip to which I wasn’t invited. They actually talked around me while I sat there feeling lower than the dust of the earth, never once asking if I wanted to go. It was an amazing show of inconsideration and rudeness.

            I could have stood up and left the room either in a huff or not. I could have waved my hands at them as a reminder that I was right there in the same room. I also could have thrown a fit at their rudeness and lack of human feeling. Instead, I sat there feeling alone in a room full of people.

            So, why do we let people do things like that to us? At the time, I was just trying to keep my mouth shut so I wouldn’t embarrass my wife again. I was successful at remaining quiet, but at what cost? Now, as I look back on it, it didn’t cost me anything if I choose not to pay.

            I am choosing not to let how others treat me determine how I feel about myself. I am choosing to remain confident in myself because I have other family and friends who would never do that me or anyone else. I am choosing to take the higher road because it takes me where I want to go.

            Sound impressive? Am I being brave and noble? No, just realistic. Here’s why.

            If I do something and someone reacts negatively to me, I most likely am doing something offensive. There are times when that isn’t true, but if I’m picking my nose and someone pulls a face at me, they’re justified.

            If, on the other hand, I’m being treated poorly just for being there, that’s their problem. I can’t control what other people do any more than I can get my dogs to stop rolling in the dirt. What they do (the people, not the dogs

), has nothing to do with what I am inside. I just need to remind myself of that sometimes, because my bad memory isn’t always related to where I put the car keys.

            I think it’s also important to remember I’m not always alone. My wife may be at work, my kids may be at school, and my friends may be playing golf, but when they come back I can spend time with them. Being lonely sometimes only makes it better when I’m not. Like I used to tell my students who wouldn’t leave the classroom, “I can’t miss you ‘till you’re gone!”

            So hang in there! When family treats you badly, remember that it’s only for a short time. When people ignore you on the street, remember that they’re probably swamped with their own problems. And when your dog rolls in the dirt, remember not to let him in the house.