Dealing With Anger

         Recently, I lost my temper and had to leave the room before I smacked another person in his smug, little face. I haven’t been so mad in years and I hated the feeling. Not only did it put me in a foul mood, but I’m sure my blood pressure was at dangerous levels. When I think of all the ways I could die, screaming at some idiot and having a heart attack, isn’t on my top ten list.

         Here are some things I did to calm down and not dwell on it for days on end. First, I prayed. I know many people in the world don’t believe in God, but for those of you who do, you know what a cleansing feeling it is to lay your troubles before someone who won’t pass judgment (at least not yet). Though it didn’t calm me down all the way, it took the edge off and I’m sure if I had stayed on my knees longer, I would have calmed down even more.

         Second, I distracted myself with a stupid movie from the 1950s. At first I was going to finish watching a Kung Fu movie I had started earlier, but thought that might not be the best choice. I could just see myself going back into the room and going Bruce Lee on the guy. Lucky for him I don’t have any Bruce Lee skills. A comedy is also a good choice because laughter always helps. In fact, there are studies showing how laughing each day keeps us healthier and adds time to our lifespans. I chose to laugh at terrible costumes and silly dialogue that day.

         Third, I wrote everything down. I included what was said and how I felt about it. I tend to dwell on things for years, which never helps and I’m sure my blood pressure goes up every time I even think about past conflicts. Somehow, writing everything down on a piece of paper or a blank computer screen helps me get rid of those pent up feelings. I suppose it’s similar to prayer, but at the end of writing I can wad the piece of paper and throw it away if I want. I don’t think God smiles on people trying to wad Him up.

         Fourth, I really suggest going for a walk. I didn’t because of that whole desert thing I’ve mentioned before. There was no way I was going outside to cool down. When the temperature’s over 100, cooling down outside seems rather silly.

         There are also some things you shouldn’t do to get rid of frustration. First, don’t go to Dairy Queen and get a large, Georgia Mud Fudge Blizzard. Eating poorly will only add more guilt to what was there in the first place. This also goes for drinking alcohol and thirty-year-old bottles of Coke you’ve been saving for some future collector to buy. Two wrongs don’t make a right, as the saying goes.

         Don’t find someone else to blame for the way you feel. My wife was embarrassed by the way I acted and my first thought was to get mad at her for not supporting me. I was wrong and as hard as that is to admit, it was true. Her reaction was to that one incident and blaming her for the way she felt would only have added another fight that I would lose. Also, don’t go yell at your kids or beat the dog. Cats may be okay, but you’d better check your local animal cruelty laws just to be sure.

         Finally, don’t bottle it up inside. Getting through midlife is hard enough without storing extra guilt and anger. Let it out in a positive way and you’ll sleep much better at night. You may also sleep better at work, but I can’t prove that one without consequences. If you decide to talk to someone about it, make sure they are a calming influence. Don’t tell that guy who gets worked up easily and will get you all fired up again, especially if he lives in a van down by the river. Tell someone who will listen and not pass judgment. You also don’t need someone telling you how stupid you were.

         Keep it up and remember that surviving means taking action.